Sunday, July 13, 2008

Talk Amongst Yourselves

We'd love for you to share comments with us and the other readers of this blog. So as Mike Meyer's (playing Linda Richman) on Saturday Night Live used to say

"Talk amongst yourselves. I'll give you a topic..."

Generosity of spirit

Tell us what you do for others and/or your partner that comes from your generous spirit. By all means, let us know what your partner (or friend, relative, co-worker, etc.) does for you that reflects his or her generous spirit. If you need a little something to get you rolling, our last two blogs were on this topic (read Ron's or Gayle's.)

No need to be in an age gap relationship to play. We'd like to hear from as many of you as possible. You can share your name, make up a name, or remain anonymous - it's the sharing (not your name) that counts.

Thanks for being a generous spirit....

11 comments:

May D. Cember said...

Hmmm...

Do we need some coaching on how to be a generous spirit?

Tip #1 - say what's on your mind or in your heart.

May D. Cember said...

Tip #2 - Giving to others (like charities) can help open your heart and make you a more generous spirit at home with those you love. Anyone have a story to share?

Anonymous said...

Like you, I have three dogbabies that I cherish. One of the three is a particularly sweet little girl, and I am trying to get us accepted into a visiting pet program. We would visit nursing homes, hospitals, or schools and share the love. We have to pass some tests first - for example, wheel chairs, loud noises, rough petting - can not evoke bad behavior. I hope we pass!

Anonymous said...

I work in PT clinic. There are times when I am extrememly busy and times when my co-therapist are busier than I am. My co-therapist and I will help out each other when we see the need. It may be as simple as cleaning a treatment area that takes 30 sec. or helping with a procedure that takes 5-10 minutes;doing either task with a giving spirit and not expecting anything in return. These small acts of kindness leave the receiver, as well as the giver, with a great sense of fulfillment.

Anonymous said...

Many times my husband will make dinner and have it prepared so as soon as I get home from work I have a hot meal. An even more generous night is when he does the dishes also because he can tell I have had a long day at the office. That means so much to me and relieves my tension.

julieandtheboys said...

In our marriage, the most generous thing we can do is to put each other's needs above our own. I wish I could say that we both do this every day without exception. This isn't true. But in this marriage, we are happiest when we are loving each other sacrificially. My beloved wakes me every morning with coffee. That is his generous way of making my wake up pleasant. I try to make sure I have dishes done before he comes home from work. (If I don't he does them.) This way I take one of the tasks off of his plate, and he gets to rest when he is home. For us, the sacrifices we make for each other equal a happier marriage. We just need to work on making sure we do them more often! Loving someone more than yourself isn't always the easiest thing to do, but it is the most generous thing to do!!!

kimmy said...

When this question was first put to me, my first response was "I'm not generous". Upon further pondering, I found that I am. I am taking my husband to a place he says he's never been for his birthday - not because I want to go but because I think he will enjoy it. I take my dog for a long walk every morning. It is good not only for both of us but also for the people around us. She is active and this helps to calm her down. There are definitely mornings when I would rather have the extra 45 minutes of sleep. I like this pondering and will continue to work with it to recognize the generosity in myself and others.

BA said...

I also had a hard time with this when I read it. I couldn't think of what I do for others or what others do for me but upon further reflection, I realized in my family, we are generous to each other every single day but it has become so commonplace that I didn't look at it as generosity. Thanks for bringing this up because it makes me realize I do have a very generous husband. He probably does at least 20 things a day I would consider generous but since he does them every day, I had lost sight of his generous spirit. Sometimes he gets up first to shower so I can sleep just a little bit longer. I appreciate that one. He rubs my back or my feet if I ask him. He NEVER yells at me or raises his voice. He gets in my "comfy chair" with me in our room to watch a show with me so we can snuggle, just the two of us. He takes great care of our yard which I LOVE to see but I do not enjoy doing it myself. He takes the girls to visit his sister at least once a year without me so I can have some "at home time" alone. He encourages my time with my girlfriends to go to dinner, to the movies, get a pedicure, etc. I cook each night and then he and the girls do the dishes. He looks for every opportunity to take me on a date. He has bought me two purses just because he likes me to have nice things. He took a week of vacation last week and took our oldest daughter to camp so he could be a camp counselor and spend her birthday week with her. One of the nicest things he has ever done is he took a shift in the nights following a surgery my mom had. He stayed up with her, tended to her needs, slept on the floor next to her bed in case she needed anything. She was so very thankful for that. I could go on and on all day. He is a great guy. We also have some family things that we do that I would consider generous. We tuck the girls into bed each night and pray with them. Our oldest is 14 and she still can't go to bed without a kiss and being tucked in. I love that. I hope she always feels that way. For birthdays, we pile into the birthday person's bed (all five of us) and eat home made breakfast of the birthday person's choosing. It is really fun and makes for great pictures. Birthdays in our family are an all day, family event. No one feels left out even if it isn't their birthday. Now that we have a little bit more money then we used to, I enjoy being generous with our money. Once I bought $50 worth of "thirsty towels" to leave in the baptism room at our church. We have baptism duty twice a year and I noticed the towels were getting pretty old and thin and I thought after such an important life event, people should be greeted with a nice, fluffy, soft towel. I really felt good about that one. We constantly tell our girls to put each other before themselves. It is hard for an adult to do let alone a child but I can see generous spirits developing in all of them. Thanks for reminding me to reflect on this every now and then to see how blessed I am in my life. That makes me want to be generous to others even more. :)

May D. Cember said...

THANK YOU - each of you for taking time to share such personal and loving things with us on this blog. We hope this can become a format for more sharing and inspiration.

We know not everyone has time every week to leave comments, but when you do have a moment to be "generous" with the readers of this blog, you are a making difference.

What we've really enjoyed is seeing you gain more appreciation for your own generosity and the generosity of those with whom you share your lives.

We'll be blogging more on this topic. It's been very enlightening and we'll be sharing some our insights with you in the weeks to come.

Thanks for being "teachers".

With gratitude and love,

r & g

John B. said...

I was a bit surprised when I read your request for me to write about generous actions in relationships. Here I am with two divorces in my past, I thought, why should I give advice, even more importantly, why should anyone listen to me. But I guess relationships are like anything else in life, our experiences can teach us what not to do as much as what to do. As I pondered things that might be considered of a generous nature, it came to me, that you could talk about bringing breakfast in bed, picking up the dry cleaning, cooking the meals, cleaning up someone else's mess, any number of unselfish actions. But I couldn't help but think that even the most generous things can become only window dressing if the relationship doesn't have the right foundation. To me, it's a lot like a house, you can cover it with new paint, appliances, fancy countertops, but if it's not built on a solid foundation, it will eventually collapse and fall down. My experience has show me that for a relationship to have a solid foundation, along with love, there must be honesty, and acceptance of each others true selves. Even the most generous actions won't make up for a lack of these in a relationship. We must open ourselves up to each other and show our flaws and faults as well as accept those of our loved ones. Certainly any generous act is good and unfortunately quite often there are way too few of them in our world. Generous and unselfish acts must be a part of a relationship, but, should be exactly that, unselfish. They shouldn't be done on a quid pro quo basis, they should be done with love with no expectation of reciprocation. After all, is it really love without generosity, giving and occasionally a little self sacrifice?

Well, that's my opinion for what it's worth

May D. Cember said...

Thanks for taking the time to write such an honest response John. I love the house metaphor. I know it has special significance for you and many of us! Again thanks for being willing to share.

g